


What's IN This Thing?!

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Humor, Mutual Pining, One Shot, Other, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:00:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25654021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Y/N, Peter, MJ, and Ned are out for a stroll when Y/N starts complaining about back pain. Peter decides to help them by emptying their purse. But maybe that wasn't such a good idea… Especially not in public.
Relationships: Peter Parker/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 96





	What's IN This Thing?!

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Had to research New York City weapon laws for this (spoiler alert, they're strict, especially compared to the rest of New York State). Not sure how much is correct since laws are always changing and sometimes it's hard to find good sources, but I tried. You're allowed to own gravity knives (recent law), but carrying them in most public places is still illegal. And since they're in public… well. I just gave up and was like, "Yeah… I'll just have the reader break some laws…"
> 
> And if they're already gonna be breaking one, why not throw in a few more? I don't condone that in real life, though, to be clear. Especially when it comes to breaking carry laws.
> 
> Warnings: Possible implied drug use (whether or not Reader's joking is up to you); Law breaking; Just an unlawful amount of weapons; Implications, it's rated Teen for a reason

"Uuuuuuugh. My shoulders and back are  _ killing me. _ " You groaned, pulling at the straps of your backpack-esque purse to alleviate some of the strain on your muscles.

"Want me to carry that for you?" Peter asked, both of you oblivious to the knowing glance that Ned and MJ shared. 

"Ugh, yes, please." You didn't hesitate to remove it and practically fling it at Peter. He had good reflexes, he'd be fine. Okay, maybe you were still a little salty about the fact that he kept his Spider-Man life from you for months, which you only found out about the day before yesterday. That was part of the reason why he was being so nice. Or at least that's what you told yourself, the others knew he'd have offered regardless.

"Whoa!" He widened his eyes as he caught it. "This thing is heavy! What's even in it?"

"My things. What else?"

"Okay, but like. That's a lot of things. No wonder you're so sore."

"Can I hold it? Just to see how heavy it is." Said Ned. 

Peter looked to you for confirmation. "Go for it. Long as I don't gotta carry it anymore." You shrugged, watching as the brunette handed it over.

Ned's eyes widened and he looked at you with concern. "What's in here?!"

"I told you, my things. I have to have my things."

MJ quirked an eyebrow and silently took your purse from Ned's hands. She raised her eyebrows and gave you a look, but didn't actually say anything out loud. She handed it back to Peter who slung it over his shoulder.

"That's not normal though, right?" He asked, looking at her.

"How would I know? Ask Ned."

He whipped his head toward Michelle. "One time, and it was for my mom!" He said, and she just barely cracked a smirk. He rolled his eyes, but you could tell he was as amused as everyone else. "Anyways, the focus is on Y/N and their extremely heavy purse."

"You got a bone to pick?" You narrowed your eyes at him, but Peter interrupted before he could respond.

"What if you just go through your purse and empty out a few things? I'm sure it'll help with your back."

"Mmm, absolutely not. I've said it before, and I will say it again. I have to have my things."

"I don't think I've ever seen you use anything from your purse except for your wallet and chapstick. I'm sure you can spare a few items. We'll help you go through it if you want." Peter gave you a reassuring smile. Damn him. Damn that cute, sweet smile.

"Fine." You groaned. The others, sans Peter, shared another look. He was the only one able to get you to cut back on your stubbornness. "But you're buying my ice cream as payment."

"Deal." He was planning to pay for it anyway to get back on your good side. And despite the fact that you "had to have your stuff," he knew lessening the weight of your purse would make you happier in the long run. Plus, he was curious about what all you had in there. It looked so full that it could barely zip.

It didn't take long to reach the ice cream parlor, and once the four of you did, you made everyone sit outside. Your reasoning was that you "refused to get banned from your favorite ice cream place for going through your purse." That had made everyone much more curious—and a bit concerned—so Peter hurriedly finished off his cone so he could look inside.

"Do you wanna do it, or should I?" He asked to be polite, even though he already knew you wouldn't do it yourself.

"Go for it."

He nodded and quickly unzipped it, only to look up at you with confusion. He pulled out a handful of lollipops. And then another. And then a few more. You happily grabbed one and stuck it in your mouth after unwrapping it, despite still having some of your ice cream left. It was more to prove a point.

"This is the only time I've ever seen you with a lollipop, yet you have  _ this many _ in your purse. I think you may have a problem." Peter said, looking between you and the pile of candy on the table.

You took the sweet out of your mouth to reply. "Okay I can see where you're coming from, but you're wrong."

"Can I have one?" Ned asked.

"Have as many as you like. I have more at home." You shrugged. Ned and MJ took a few, and then Peter joined them after a brief moment of hesitation.

"See? You already have less stuff." He smiled and pulled out your wallet and chapstick, but quickly moved on since you actually used those. Next was a small, unlabeled, black box. He turned it around in his hands with a curious expression.

"Oh, that's Alexandria! Alejandro's sister." You grabbed it out of his hands and opened it, revealing a torch lighter. You flipped open the lid and turned it on, the flame turning pink after a moment. "Isn't she pretty?" You stared at the flame in admiration before returning the lighter to the box and setting it beside the lollipops.

"Cool." MJ said, nodding in approval along with Ned.

"I'll give that one a pass since it's cool, but I still don't know what you'd need a lighter for."

"What if one of you picks up a smoking habit? Boys support boys, you know?" Peter gave you an unamused look. "That's a joke. If any of you start smoking, I'll kill you before the lung cancer can." You looked around and leaned in conspiratorially, lowering your voice. "But if any of you decide to pick up a different kind of smoking habit, I've got connections. High-quality stuff, ya dig?"

"Y/N!" Peter shouted, looking around to make sure no one heard. You just laughed and casually leaned back in your chair. 

"Wait. Who's Alejandro?" Ned asked. You smiled and happily pulled a gravity pocket knife from your waistband. Their eyes widened, though MJ's less than the others. "Where did you get that from…?" 

"I feel like the better question is whether or not that's legal?" Peter said, wide-eyed.

You just silently put the knife back. Everyone stared. Eventually, MJ spoke. "It's not."

"Shhhh." You put your finger to your lips.

Peter was very worried but knew he wouldn't get anywhere trying to argue with you. He also didn't want to bring any public attention to your law-breaking. "Okay, um, moving on." He pulled out a pair of leather gloves next but didn't see any reason to comment, so he set it with the other stuff. The next object, however, made him  _ very  _ concerned. A small, clear vial, also unlabeled, containing pills. "What's this and why does it look so suspicious?"

"Oh! That's some  _ really  _ good pain medicine. My friend gave them to me a while back." 

"Okay. But what  _ is  _ the medicine?"

"Oh, I dunno. He didn't tell me." You shrugged.

"Y/N! Y-you can't just-" He looked around and lowered his voice, noticing how loud he had become. "You can't just take pills when you don't know what they are! Especially not after everything you've told me about your friends. What if you got hurt, or what if they were something, y'know. Illegal." He raised his eyebrows and leaned in, making the implication as obvious as he could.

"Look. When someone offers you drugs, you say 'thank you,' because drugs are expensive."

"I-" Peter started, but he was completely at a loss of what to say next.

"I know you're joking, but the fact that you're so hard to read is concerning me," Ned said. Peter nodded in agreement, but MJ just had a knowing look. She understood, being so hard to read herself.

"I'm… just gonna keep going." He pulled out what seemed to be a dagger. "Okay, now  _ this  _ is definitely also not legal!"

You grabbed it and unsheathed it, revealing it to be unusually long, sharp scissors. You cut the air a few times to prove your point. "Yeah she is, she's just a pair of scissors. Nothing suspicious here. Her name is Antoinette." 

"That… I don't… Just put it away before somebody sees!" You nodded and shoved it in your bra, and if you weren't mistaken, a subtle blush dusted his cheeks. "I-I mean… whatever works?" He directed his attention back to the purse, this time pulling out a mini first aid kit. "Smart." He smiled, but it didn't last for long when he pulled out a pocket knife. "Really? Another one?"

"Well, the first one wasn't  _ in _ my purse. Anyways, that's Darling. Isn't she gorgeous? With that beautiful filigree carved into the metal, and the tasteful olivewood embedded in the handle." You admired it from across the table and MJ gave an approving nod.

"Just hide this before someone sees it. And we are  _ definitely _ having a talk about this whenever we get back to your place." He gave you a stern look as he handed it over and you put it in your pocket.

"You're not my dad, you can't tell me what to do." His gaze didn't waver and you felt yourself shrinking under it, just a bit. You pouted. "Fine. But if you don't protect me when I'm walking home all alone, especially at night, I'm coming back and haunting you as a ghost. And rest assured, I will be annoying. All night, every night. Straight up  _ Tell-Tale Heart _ ."

"I'll keep you safe. But I really hope that  _ stabbing a guy  _ isn't your first instinct."

"Wouldn't be the first time," you replied. Peter smiled and rolled his eyes. You giggled. "It's cute that you think I'm joking." 

"You scare me sometimes," Ned said with a concerned frown. You just smiled.

Peter pulled out some pepper spray, setting it beside the first few things. "See? This is good. Just use this. Not that you'll need it, since I'll be there to protect you." Was that master class flirting, or was he just being genuinely nice? You wished you knew.

"Better be." You smiled, to which he returned it with one of his own. He kept going and pulled out  _ another  _ pocket knife.

"I'm not even surprised by this point." He sighed.

"Bruce Wayne. Cause he's bat-shaped." You smiled and set it on the chair next to your legs. It was much more chunky than the other knives, so there wasn't a great way to hide it on your person. "He's actually also dual bladed."

"Ooh, that one's so cool! Can I see it with the blades out?" Ned asked excitedly. Peter gave him a look. "Later, obviously."

"'Course. Assuming Peter doesn't confiscate them from me." You glared.

"I might have to at this point," he joked, before going back for more. He furrowed his eyebrows. "A-are these?" He pulled out what looked to be a pair of extremely heavy-duty handcuffs. Everyone gave you an incredulous look, even MJ, though hers was more subdued.

"I know what you're all thinking, and no. They're not handcuffs. It's a bike lock."

"You don't own a bike! This thing weighs like  _ five pounds! _ Why do you have this, and why do you carry it around in your  _ purse?!"  _ Peter shouted, his voice had raised a few octaves. It wouldn't surprise you if he had caught a few people's attention.

"Look. It's for… um, gimme a second, I'm sure I can come up with a valid reason. Uh. What if I have to, like, handcuff someone or something. To something. Like a bike."

"You still don't own a bike." He rolled his eyes and grumbled, "No wonder it's so goddamn heavy." 

"Honestly at this point, I miss the lollipops," Ned said, shaking his head.

Peter pulled out a few more things, this time a nail file, a pair of nail clippers, and a pencil. "Whoa. Things that are actually normal and reasonable to carry in your purse." You rolled your eyes and watched as he pulled out a small, metal cylinder with a screw-on lid. "Do I even wanna know what this is?"

You took it and opened it, revealing a metal stick with a wick at the end. You scraped the end against the side of the lighter that jutted out, causing a flame to appear. "Permanent match." You blew out the flame, closed it, and set it with the other objects.

"Cool." MJ grabbed it to get a closer look, setting it back down once she was done.

"Oh, Ned, you were saying?" Peter pulled out more lollipops.

"I mean, at least they take up space that could be used for… whatever other weapons they own." 

"We're getting to the bottom." Next, he pulled out a deck of cards, earbuds, and a Swiss army knife. "I think this is the last thing." He let out a relieved sigh as he pulled out a scrap of soft, lacey, see-through fabric, unfolding it as he held it up. There was about a second of silence where no one knew what to do or say, aside from sitting there in shock. Even you hadn't realized those were in there.

"Damn." MJ eventually broke the silence.

"O-oh god, I'm so sorry! I-I-I didn't think-" Peter stuttered, his face as red as a tomato. He quickly shoved the underwear back into your purse before pushing it towards you. "Aah, I'm so, so sorry!"

"It's uuuh, it's fine. Did not realize those were in there." Your voice was almost as high pitched as Peter's. You were both avoiding eye contact. MJ and Ned, reluctantly, you could handle. But Peter? Your crush was already bad enough without all the embarrassment. Little did you know, he felt the same way.

"We should g-" Ned started.

"Yup." You cut him off.

~~~

It had been a few hours since the fiasco of going through your purse, and now it was just you and Peter. The other two had left to go back to their respective homes, but you and Peter were study buddies. Apparently, you guys got "distracted too often," so the others didn't like to join you for anything school-related.

"Study time!" You called out as you dropped your backpack next to your desk. It wasn't particularly big, but since your family had the TV on in the other room, it would have to make do for the both of you.

"Not until you actually remove some things from your purse." He set it on the desk and gave you a stern look.

"Yeah, yeah." You rolled your eyes and dug through it for a few moments, before pulling out the bike lock. You grabbed one of the lollipops that had fallen in the process and stuck it in your mouth. "Happy?" You spoke around it, but for the most part, removed it whenever you needed to speak.

"I said  _ some _ things, not  _ one  _ thing."

"Okay. I guess  _ I guess _ that I don't need  _ quite  _ this many knives." You removed the bat-shaped one since it was heavier and took up more room.

"And the scissors."

"What?! But scissors are so useful! Like what if I need to open one of those really strong plastic packages that they have in stores that they make as difficult to open as possible? You know how many times I've tried to open one of those things with a knife, and just thought 'oh man, I really wish I had some scissors right now.' So I got some scissors, and problem solved."

"Then get a  _ normal _ pair of scissors. Or better yet, a small one, because I still don't know how legal those are. And you're lucky I'm not even trying to make you get rid of the knives! Just do me a favor and stay away from any police officers you happen to see." He sighed.

You glared at him for a moment, before reluctantly removing the scissors, grumbling unintelligibly as you did so. "Anything  _ else  _ you're gonna make me remove?"

"The suspicious vial of pills."

"Okay, I  _ guess _ that's fair, but lemme tell ya," you held it up to show them off, "these things work like  _ magic. _ But I suppose normal pain meds work for everyday use."

"Now one of the lighters and I'll leave you alone. You don't need two."

You took out the permanent match, even though it was both smaller and lighter. You liked Alexandria too much to give her up. " _ Now _ are you happy?"

"Yes." He smiled and took a seat beside you. He had his backpack with him from when he had dropped it off earlier in the day, before your little outing. "Now we can study."

"Oh, wait! Almost forgot." Now that you were prepared for it, you couldn't resist the urge to tease Peter a little bit. You pulled out the lacey underwear—making sure he was watching—and threw it in the general direction of your laundry basket. Blush lit up his face.

"Y-Y/N! Why would you-W-WAIT! Were they _dirty?!"_ Is this what Hell felt like? Cause he was pretty sure this is what Hell felt like. His crush casually pulling out a pair of _very see-through_ underwear _in front of him_ like it was no big deal. Underwear which he had _touched._ Oh god!

"I dunno." You shrugged. "I could do the sniff test?"

"NO! PLEASE DON'T!" He screeched. Oh god, he'd rather not know. 

"I'm just messing with you, they're clean." You smirked and got up from your chair, walking over to where they were laying on the ground. Instead of actually putting them in the basket, though, you held them up. Your smirk broadened when you saw how he quickly whipped his head in the other direction. "This is actually like my second-fanciest pair, and I'm so glad I have them again. Thanks, Peter."

Is this what death feels like? Cause he was pretty sure this is what death feels like. Y/N just casually standing there, holding  _ those, especially _ with a lollipop in their mouth. Yeah, no, he was dead. Or at the very least dying. He shifted uncomfortably and aggressively avoided eye contact.

You laughed and threw the underwear in the bin, then made your way back to the desk. You took the lollipop out of your mouth and gave him a smile as you looked down at him. "You know I'm just messing with you. You can't avoid eye contact forever."

"Mmmmm pretty sure I can." You raised your eyebrows. Was that a voice crack? Utterly adorable. Peter cringed at himself.

You leaned in closer and were about to say something when you realized  _ why  _ he was so embarrassed. Oh.  _ Oh. Oh! _ You didn't think-  _ You _ did that? By just- Wow. Just  _ wow. _ Were you blushing?

You cleared your throat and leaned back, before plopping down in your chair. "Study tim-"

"Yup," he cut you off.

Things were extremely awkward and quieter than usual, but eventually, they returned to a somewhat more normal state. Both of you were thinking about it. He knew you knew, something which you were also very aware of. Did he… actually, like you back? Or was that just a normal reaction to the situation, and you were overthinking things? You had to at least try, right? Take a chance?

"Hey, Peter?" You eventually managed to speak, looking at the side of his face. He looked so good when he was concentrating.

"Yeah?" He didn't move his eyes away from his paper.

"Look at me." He hesitated for a moment, before reluctantly doing so. You gently brushed your hand against his cheek and leaned your face closer to his, giving him plenty of time to react. His eyes widened and his breath hitched, but just when you thought he'd pull away, he leaned in. You were kissing. Holy Hell, you were  _ kissing. _

It was short and sweet but sent butterflies through both of your stomachs. Your heart was racing, as was his. He placed his hand over the one on his cheek, lacing his fingers with your own. "I-I've wanted that for so long now," he said shyly.

"Me too." You swallowed hard. His eyes were so full of love that it was almost too much to handle. Almost. You leaned in and gave him another kiss, your face lingering near his own. "I like you."

"I like you too."


End file.
